


4 Bois 1 Mini.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [113]
Category: South Park
Genre: Adventures, Background Kyman, Background Style, Don’t worry, Fluff, Gen, He’ll Come Back, Kenny Dies, M/M, The major character death is Kenny, aged up AU, the boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-27 00:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Four boys.One mini.One summer.This is gonna be one hell of a summer vacation...





	4 Bois 1 Mini.

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilery tags and click bait summary? Great start!
> 
> Actually if I’m honest this is kind of crack. I also returned to South Park even though I was trying to evade it. Oh well! It was fun to write, and please don’t take it seriously!

“Kyle, are you ready yet?”

“Almost! Give me a minute!”

Stan stands outside his super best friend’s house with his arms folded as he leans against the hood of a battered old mini he’d rented from a drug dealer in an alley a few days ago. The trunk is packed with supplies for the best summer vacation ever. It’s the final summer before senior year, and Stan wants to make the most of it. 

Finally Kyle races out of his house, shouting something to his mom as he sprints out the door carrying a huge suitcase. “Sorry man. Mom said I needed to bring all this shit.” He explains as he hauls it into the trunk before sliding into the passenger seat. Stan just laughs, not surprised at all. Sheila Broflovski is a notorious worrier, especially when it comes to her sons. 

“Don’t worry about it. I think Cartman and Kenny might have to have their stuff in the back though.” And there’s the one fault in Stan’s perfect vacation. Cartman and Kenny randomly decided to join them last minute after making countless excuses as to why they couldn’t up until that point. This means that it won’t just be Stan and Kyle hanging out, something they both haven’t had the time to do lately. Oh well. It’ll still be fun, he reassures himself. At least Kyle will be there.

“There won’t be enough room if Cartman’s in the back. His ass will take up all the space.” Despite the childishness of Kyle’s comment, Stan can’t help but laugh. The redhead doesn’t hesitate to join in, and for a while they revel in each other’s company.

But time is cut short when they remember their situation. They need to get Cartman and Kenny so they can go. Stan puts on some strange trippy music from the 90s and they’re off. 

First stop, much to the super best friends’ irritation, is Cartman. To their surprise, he’s already standing outside his house waiting with a sharp glare setting his eyes ablaze. 

“What took you assholes so long? Did you have a quick fuck first or something?” Stan blushes, mortified. Kyle returns his glare, trying to hide his own flush with anger.

“Of course we didn’t, fatass. Now get in.” Cartman rolls his eyes, but he’s smirking.

“Whatever Jew.” To Kyle’s shock and immediate suspicion, Cartman obliges for once, going to put his stuff in the trunk before realising it’s full, “Ay! How come you hippies get all the trunk space?” 

“Because we’re bringing all the stuff, Cartman.” Having recovered from the brunet’s earlier comment, Stan responds with a weary sort of irritation like a parent sick of chastising their out of control child.

“No you’re not! Move something, I want space!” Cartman pushes the image of being a child even further by thrusting his hands onto his hips and pouting. Kyle grimaces, stepping in to aid his friend.

“Stop being a dick and put your stuff in the back already. We gotta go get Kenny.” Cartman’s eyes flick to the Jew, darkening with an wild, unidentifiable emotion which Kyle pins as hatred. He returns the sentiment, and silence settles upon the Mini while they fight with their eyes.

“Fuck you Kahl.” And the fight is over. Cartman tugs on his hat and grumbles all the way to the car, where he hogs the middle seat and a fair portion of Kenny’s seat as well as his own. Stan just pinches the bridge of his nose before resuming their journey whilst Kyle seethes next to him.

When they arrive at Kenny’s house, he is also outside, hood of his parka still pulled far too tightly despite it being 90 degrees out. He grins (although no one else can see due to the aforementioned parka) and waves to the others. Unlike his friends, Kenny only has his school bag, not a suitcase. It looks pretty empty. No one expected anything else, however, so they don’t comment on it.

The way out to the first place they’re planning to visit- a campsite where they can go through their stuff and organise the rest of the journey- is relatively normal for the four. Cartman and Kyle argue at every opportunity, Stan tries to defend his super best friend only for them both to get mad at him and Kenny ignores them all in favour of reading the porn magazine he brought along for the ride (Kyle personally has his suspicions that that’s all Kenny brought).

Then they stop for gas.

The gas station is pretty small, only a few miles out from South Park and not visited very often by travellers. A low hanging wooden sign creaks as it swings on a post overhead. Stan frowns at it, then turns to look at the others.

“Okay guys, before we go any further I’m gonna need to get gas. Anyone wanna come?” 

“I bet Kyle does~”

“Kenny!” Yet again, Stan and Kyle’s relationship is brought into question by their friends, and yet again it causes both of them to blush and become awkward. 

“Seriously, you guys should just fuck already.” Cartman states nonchalantly, leaning back against the seat with a sigh.

“Yeah.” Kenny sniggers as he looks up at his flustered companions.

“Shut up, both of you! Kyle, Cartman, come get gas with me. Kenny, you’re banned. Stay here and watch the stuff.” Kenny’s snigger becomes full on laughter at the thought of being banned from getting gas, while Cartman groans and gets out of the car deliberately slowly to piss off the other two. He knows he’s only being brought along so they can’t make jokes about Stan and Kyle fucking while they’re gone.

When everyone has left, Kenny finds himself sitting alone in the car. An odd chill runs down his spine. Whenever he’s left alone in weird places, things seem to... happen. Things which involve his death.

The feeling gradually progresses to a panic as he wonders how it’s going to happen this time. He braces himself for the worst...

But nothing happens. It’s okay. He watches Kyle and Cartman develop sexual tension while Stan tries not to get jealous (and fails miserably). They get the gas, then walk back to the car to fill up. Everything’s alright. Kenny smiles in relief, glad that that’s over.

A meteor comes flying in from somewhere in space and crashes straight through the roof of the gas station and into the mini, sending debris, items of clothing and bits of Kenny flying everything.

“Oh my God! They killed Kenny!” Stan screams to Trey and Matt, smiling upon them mischievously from up above.

“You bastards!” Kyle yells beside him while Cartman just stares at the mess incredulously. Finally he speaks, the silence having worn away.

“God DAMMIT! MY LEGENDARY SPECIAL EDITION ONE-OF-A-KIND SNACKY CAKES!” The brunet runs towards the debris searching for his precious snacks, but alas they are ash.

**Author's Note:**

> The adventure was cut short by the car exploding and Kenny dying.
> 
> ...No idea why I pointed that out. It was fairly obvious.
> 
> R.I.P Cartman’s snacky cakes. And the Mini. And Kenny.
> 
> Prompt- Mini adventure.
> 
> Both a mini adventure and a _mini_ adventure. I think I didn’t a pretty good job at interpreting this prompt. It could have also been about shrinking, but I didn’t know how to fit it into the plot.
> 
> Original Number- 319.


End file.
